


Drowning

by ImpulseFunWritinAnon



Series: Imp's Undertale Drabbles [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Emotional Manipulation, Other, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Relationships, Violent Thoughts, heed the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpulseFunWritinAnon/pseuds/ImpulseFunWritinAnon
Summary: I haven't taken a bath tonight. Maybe I could use that as an excuse to get away from Asriel, not have to meet his cold, nervous gaze. Looking unsure. Scared. It kills me to think of it, yet my insides feel like bursting afire from the power I hold over him.It is love, I suppose.
Relationships: Chara/Asriel Dreemurr
Series: Imp's Undertale Drabbles [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962637
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> For /utg/. I love you all.
> 
> From /utg/, prompt: _Chara trying to come up with reasons not to kill themself and only ending up with "it will make my family sad"_

Asriel is not coming to bed yet.

Maybe he forgot that we were going to play with the shadows tonight--mess with the flashlight that we found in the dump the other day. I was really looking forward to it. Maybe he meant to forget and he's just stalling for time, brushing his teeth as slowly as he can before bed. I mean, after nearly poisoning Dad with the buttercups earlier, I can't say for sure that Asriel is over it. But I needed to know. Besides, Dad's fine. Doesn't he understand that?

Asriel is ignoring me. Again.

Folding the sheets over my face, I think about the toaster underneath my bed. And the knife. And the rope. And a small bottle of odd-shaped candies. White rectangles. Squares next to squares. Why so many in a row?

I tasted one once. It was bitter and made me immediately sleepy. I missed lunch. And dinner. And breakfast.

I wonder what it'd be like to miss out on a lifetime's worth of Mom's meals. Maybe in heaven--I tried to get myself to believe it, squeezing my eyes shut--I'd get all the pie I could get. And Asriel would play with me all the time, no matter what I did. He'd want to play whatever game I chose.

I haven't taken a bath tonight. Maybe I could use that as an excuse to get away from Asriel, not have to meet his cold, nervous gaze. Looking unsure. Scared. It kills me to think of it, yet my insides feel like bursting afire from the power I hold over him. It is love, I suppose. But he'd feel bad if he went to go to the bathroom in the morning to find me hugging that toaster instead of him. That'd show him. The smell of charred flesh would probably ruin his appetite for pancakes forever. Then I'd win one over him.

I hear Asriel stirring in the bed across the room. He's facing the wall now. Sniffling. Shaking...

Must be a cold. A terrible one. Maybe I should tell Mom that Asriel is catching one. But I shouldn't worry her anymore--she nearly lost Dad today. But he's okay now, and really, she should be over it by now. I love her, but sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in her arms and that she can't save me. Like she'd have to wrap me real tight--so tight--to get anything warmer from me. But at least I hug back. And she smiles that smile, and I die a little inside. It's love.

I haven't had a hand at tying any sort of knot out of a rope, not counting shoelaces. Maybe it's the same thing? It can't be that hard. If I try hard enough, I could make it work. Too bad we don't have high ceilings. Oh, but I could go find one of those low-hanging arches. I'd tie that knot just right, throw the rope over the edge of it, lift myself up and meet my maker. Then Dad would find me, no-- Asriel would find me, and he'd finally hug me. And he'd say he was sorry, and mean it.

And now I realize that after all this, all the hugs and all the kisses, and all the overwhelming sensations they inspire in my body that makes me wish for death more each passing day, that Asriel would no longer have anybody to tell him what to do, I wouldn't learn anything more from Dad, and Mom would have nobody to give her over-bearing presence to. They'd suffer. They'd die...

Or maybe they'd be sad. Not like I am though. Maybe like that short skeleton is sad. That'd be... pathetic. It'd be just awful.

I'll live just a little longer then. Besides: I have already made the plan with Asriel. He'll have to get over Dad's poisoning sooner or later. I'll have to say sorry to him tomorrow morning. And he'll hug me, we'll move on and forget, and we'll play tag in the woods nearby.

And we'll set forth our plan.

After all, there is no need to see my family sad.


End file.
